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 | Honen: I am Dr. Honen Calzoun.
Yes, dat iz who I am. 
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 | FO: It's amazing how being one extra pixel wide and high somehow makes his avatar look enormous to me on the forums...
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 | Jack: It's because he has a big fat Oni head.
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| Honen: Shut ze hell up, you mullet-haired waterfowl.
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| Jack: Only if you'll go ride a camel and leap the Great Wall of China.
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| Honen: Why don't you make yourself useful, cur? Tell ze Overlord to write ze goddamn archaeology sketch already. Iz so boring sitting around in zees cavernes stupides and listening to Professor McRaven and his wife chatter all day.
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| Jack: Hoard some boards if you're bored. I'm not your errandboy.
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| Honen: Leute auf dem Internet sind Idioten. Go away. If you want to insult me, you could at least get my nationality right. I am not even Mongolian. 
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| Jack: Well, you're kind of dressed like you are.
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| Honen: If apparel determines country of origin, then you must be from Brownpaperbagistan.
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 | Christopher: BUSTED!!!
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| Jack: Up yours, unicorn head! You wouldn't know proper ninja attire if you landed in it on a clothesline.
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| Honen: So, proper ninja attire iz burlap bag dat iz several sizes too big and elf hat? I never knew. Silly me. 
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| Jack: Allright, that's it! Put your money in your mouth and clam up. We'll see who has the l33t skillz.
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| Honen: Trust me, cur, I would love nothing more then to lop ze head right off your barbiceled shoulders, but how are we supposed to fight when I am in ze Oskillian Mountain caves right now and you are in Grimmora University? Hm?
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| Jack: It's the internet. Pretty much any old shit goes out here.
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 | Talon: Uh, Jack, I need your help...in the kitchen...
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| Jack: Not right now, Tal. I'm about to give Dr. Tufts the one-two here. Stand back.
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| Talon: It's serious! Wildclaw is making raisin toast again.
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| Jack: Oh...well, in that case...It'll have to wait for later, Braidyboy. Smell ya.
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| Honen: ??
What iz so special about Ms. Wildclaw's toast?
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| Talon: Wildclaw's idea of making "raisin toast" is to put bread into Lizaki's overclocked toaster and shoot it with grapeshot when it flies out.
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| Honen: Oh. I see. Then perhaps you should be going, Mr. Kyradius.
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 | Wildclaw: Hey, amigo! Long time, no see. How's it going on that archaeologicalthingamobobical, whatchacallit? Huh huh! I forget again...you male or female?
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| Honen: Aye, yai. I not want to talk to you, disgusting felis. I not have to prove manliness to you or anyone else. Hmph!
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| Wildclaw: Easy for you to say now, amigo. If you weren't far off in those caves right now, I'd be ripping those pants right off of your androgynous ass and...
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*SPROING*
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| Wildclaw: Uh-oh....gotta run...
Despeje la manera, amigos!! The buck's comin' thru!!
*BLAM!!!*
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| Honen: Aye, yai, yai. Chat stupide.
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| Talon: Uh, sorry about this, Dr. Calzoun. I, um...think I'll be going now. Yup. That's what I'll do. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm going now.... Going once...going twice...Yup, on my way now...Um...Please don't be mad at me, okay? Okay. Well, I'm going now. See ya. Bye.
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| Honen: *soupir exaspéré*
Dat child's head iz not screwed on quite right.
Hmph. I still say I am manliest and sexiest Oni to ever grace ze face of ze internet. 
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| Chris: 
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| Honen: Dat picture's not canon.
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| Chris: Not yet.
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| Honen: Still doesn't count.
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| I like bread and butter. I like toast and jam. That's what my baby feeds me. I'm her loving man.
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 | Preston: I am Dr. Preston Abirok.
Yes, that is who I am. 
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| Honen: Hey! Stop being such copycat before I sue you for plagiarism.
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| Preston: 
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| Honen: Dat's not going to work. Go on. Get out of here.
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| Preston: ...
...
...
Sorry.
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| Honen: Crazy desert-elf shrink.
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