Ancient Secret Desert-Elf Magic

Chester: Dude, I'm bored.
Chance: This is study hall, Chester. You're supposed to be studying.
Chester: Dude...oh, I see...

...

Uh, what are we studying for?

Chance: For class, you nitwit.
Chester: Oh...dude....

...

What class?

Chance: Whatever class you need to study for. (And judging from your test scores, you've got quite a few prospective candidates.)
Chester: Oh....

...Dude, so like, I was thinking, like...what if I'm flying my ship...and my nose falls off. Dude, that would be like really bad. But, then, what would be even worse, is if my nose fell off when I was on the deck and it bounced over the side and fell, and got like, lost in the mountains. That would be a real bummer, don't you think?

Chance:
Chester: Well? Don't you think?
Chance: I don't think that's something you have to worry about.
Lukyan: I dunno. Maybe that explains what happened to his brain.
Nucleo: Ahem, guys, come on. If you don't want to study you're free to leave, but please be considerate of those who are using this time to work.
Chester: Oh, sorry, professor.
Christopher: *sigh* And I thought *I* was unfocused.
Preston: Hello, folks, please don't mind my intrusion. I merely need to retrieve a book I left on the copy machine earlier this morning.
Nucleo: Uh, Preston, old friend, um...
Preston: Is something wrong, Nucleo?
Nucleo: Yeah...The profile picture you chose...you look younger than me in that picture.
Preston: Is that a problem?
Nucleo: Considering that you're 12 years older than me, yes, it's a problem.
Preston: Oh, come on, I was given a chance to change it and I'm not stupid, you know. Besides, you could always change yours.
Nucleo: It's generally not my goal to frighten and confuse the hell outta people.
Lukyan: Yet that seems to be the goal of a lot of other mountaindevils.
Nucleo: When I frighten and confuse people, it usually ends with me getting whacked repeatedly with an oak branch.
Chance: White birch:

Nucleo: I stand corrected.
Christopher: Well, it's better than his old picture and besides, if anyone asks, just tell them it's Ancient Secret Desert-Elf Magic.
Chance: The two of you cannot keep pinning every plothole and continuity error on "Ancient Secret Desert-Elf Magic".
Christopher: I have 8 panels where my head spontaneously changes size and shape that says you're wrong.
Preston: We're a very old and mysterious race.
Chance: Oh, for crying out loud, there IS no "Ancient Desert-Elf Magic"! Unless you count "finding an old photograph" as "magic".
Chester: Dude, like, if my nose falls off...could you replace my profile picture with an older one that still has my nose? Heck, dude, I'd even be willing to use your old photo if that ever happens.
Preston: Certainly, Mr. Hallet. But I have to warn you - the combination of those glasses that took up 75% of my face and that turban that was too tight around my ears gave me some really bad headaches. And all that time I thought it was just Crow's lectures causing that.
Chester: Dude, thanks! I think I'll go try it out right now...
Lukyan: Just keeps getting weirder and weirder around here...
Nucleo: *sigh* I'm just worried about how Aurora's going to handle this...
Preston: Oh, she's fine with it. Said she'd even do the same except that she hasn't aged much in the past 30 years anyway.
Nucleo: I'm talking about you lending out your old picture to other people. I'm sure she's seen weirder things in her lifetime than her colleagues spontaneously reverse-aging, but if she gets confused into thinking another person around here is you...well, you know how she is. She acts first...maybe thinks later.
Preston: Oh...hadn't thought of that. Maybe I'd better go stop him before it's too late.
Jack: Damn, what the hell is up with Dr. Abirok? I just saw him down the hallway and he was saying something about how his nose was gonna fall off...
Preston: Hello, Jack.
Jack: Hello, Dr. Abirok. And not only that, but his voice sounded really strange, and...

...

Lukyan: Wait for it...
Jack:

...da hell...is going on...here?? Preston can't be here because he was just there, but he's here, and he was there, and that means he can't be here, but he's here, so...

Christopher: UNIVERSE IMPLOSION!!!

Chance: I'm seriously beginning to hate you people.

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