ADVENTURES IN SITE TRACKING #13
I AM ERROR ARTICLE, NOT AN ERROR

First of all, I apologize, but I'm no longer linking directly to the message board topics I find in my site tracker. I'm just going to screencapture from now on. The reason is because the topics always get deleted or the boards become login-protected, which has left me with a lot of broken links in the older STA's that I have to go back and fix. Whether or not this has anything to do with me, I don't really know (well, a few cases were highly-suspicious), but it doesn't matter. Here's today's haul:

Wendell here is obviously calling me a "complete idiot" for my article about the Zelda 2 character, which was meant to debunk the misbelief that the sentence "I AM ERROR" is bad videogame grammar. However, Mr. Wendell, I'm afraid the "complete idiot" in question here is you. Once again, we have someone who has not done his customary lurking, has never seen or heard of a woman before, and completely failed to actually read the article in question.

For years, and especially during the "NES Scene" heyday, I would always see "I am Error" used as an example of "bad videogame grammar". I'd see it in my site tracker on almost a weekly basis.

Here's an example.

So, I pointed out in that article that in actuality, the sentence is perfectly, grammatically correct. And Mr. Wendell thinks I'm wrong...why? Because I didn't say the name was funny? Wendell, you need to go back and take a second grade english course. Funny name != bad grammar.

I don't particularly give a shit if people think the name "Error" is funny. That's not the point. I personally don't find it funny because I have a tendency to agree with Roger Ebert's First Law of Funny Names:

"No names are funny unless used by W.C. Fields or Groucho Marx. Funny names, in general, are a sign of desperation at the screenplay level. See "Dr. Hfuhruhurr" in THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS."

And while we're on the subject of bad grammar, what the hell does "stupid loving name" mean?? Stupid loving? Really? I'm guessing that either Wendell is too prudish to use the word "fucking" (or maybe that board censors it), or he seriously thinks "Error" was a loving, albeit stupid name handed to him by his cherishing parents. Considering Mr. Wendell's questionable reading skills, limp grasp on the concept of grammar, overall whiny tone, and the fact that he apparently laughs for hours on end at such simple-minded juvenileness, the possibility exists that he is no more than 4 years old.

Oh, but there's more from this genius, this wonder of modern gamer society:

Oh no! Get in the cellar and bar the doors! We've got...we've got...a

WEEABOO!!!

He's weeaboo, weeaboo,
An existential little yankee all stuffed with angst,
He's weeaboo, weeaboo,
Yankee angsty indie old bear!

Seriously, how the hell can looking at the Japanese script prove the English grammar is correct?!?! Is this how this person expects people to play games? "I just found this totally mundane and grammatically-correct sentence here, but I think it might be some kind of hidden joke!! FORSOOTH!! To the Batcave Japanese Script, Robin!!"

Man, weeaboos are one of those legendary types of gamers you might think don't actually exist, or at least would have gone extinct by now. I'll bet Mr. Wendell's favorite game is Akihiko Hentai Sugarplum Buffet: Herdofit no Wonhaz.

Before we end our fun, I found this comment from one, Mr. Boogs several posts down in the same topic:

Yes, I'm smug because I pointed out the truth about something. (And as if Wendell isn't being smug.) Hey, Mr. Boogs, since you like Hitler and dislike facts so much, I'll bet you're not at all one of those people who denies the holocaust, global warming, and evolution and all other sorts of things that don't fit the unicorn and psychic friends-filled fantasy world in your head, and the scientists and historians who say otherwise are just being smug.

Comments from the RAU Gallery:
Jack: What? Gamers on message boards don't know what grammar is? Yeah. That's news.
Tomi: I don't care what other people find funny, but if someone thinks I'm going to stop, drop, and ROFL at every stupid name I come across, then they're as fucked in the head as they are retarded.
Deuce: Wow, Tomes, for once I'm with you 100%. This guy would shit his pants if he ever played the Evolution games.
Chance: If they thought we were being smug before, just wait until they find this sketch.
Jack: I doubt they'll even find it, and even more seriously doubt he'd be able to read it.
Sesa: And if he does find it, he'll probably just get too hung up on laughing at my name to notice anything else. I've been told it's funny.
Deuce: Really? What's funny about "Sesa"?
Sesa: According to those who are amused by it, it sounds like "salsa".
Wendell: HA! HA! HA! SESA! What a stupid loving name! HA HA! It sounds like "SALSA"! HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... ewwwaa

*BOOM!*

Chance: So much for not finding it.
Deuce: Damn, Sesa, you should get that registered as a deadly weapon.
Sesa: Heh. Well, it wouldn't be the first part of me that is.
Robin: If you guys are done turning hapless trolls into groundchuck, I would like to get on with the rest of the show now, please.
Chance: Hey, I'm not stoppin' you.
Deuce: Who've we got this time, Robin?
Robin: It seemed appropriate for this situation to use someone who is no stranger to taking on internet lamers. She's been in retirement for some time now, but we pulled her old files. Roll it, Gordon!


THE RAU GALLERY PRESENTS:
Deathamster's Greatest Hits


(If you'd like to set this to music, click above.)







(Wow. That's an obscure thing.)





(Looks like we finally have that answer to Nucleo's question.)










(How oddly appropriate...)





















(Get used to it, DH. Women don't exist on the internet.)











Tomi: So, Wendell makes what...the third person to explode in this series?
Jack: Exploding people is the RAU version of the Klopman Diamond. There's just more clean-up involved.
Tomi: Gotcha.
Special thanks go to Greybob for the "Weeaboo Song" and James FP for "Akihiko Hentai Sugarplum Buffet: Herdofit no Wonhaz".
** CLICK HERE FOR EXTRA INSIGHT FROM PORT SAIID **

GO FORWARD TO ADVENTURES IN SITE TRACKING #14: STRANGE TALES OF PLAGIARISM

GO BACK TO ADVENTURES IN SITE TRACKING #12: GOOGLING GOONS A-GO-GO

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