The other day, I'm going through my Site Tracker and I find a link that leads me to this:

Linked Due to the Size of the Image

Uh, #1, I did visit from a referring link. Why on earth would I be typing URLs to a site I've never heard of before in my address bar? What, do you think people just do this randomly in hopes of finding something interesting? If I did, I get the feeling 3/4 times I'd end up at a porn site.

#2, why would you CARE if I found it by typing in the URL? Call me a cranky old cantankerous barracuda, but I really don't like being told how to surf the internet, thank you very much.

If this was all I had to report, this would be a very lame Site Tracking Adventure. So that's why that's not the end of it. Not at all indeed. Yesterday, I found this link in my referral reports:

Site Tracking Adventure #6, September 21, 2008

Kotaku once said that my site was pointless. If they saw that site, their heads would explode. Seriously. I couldn't make heads or tails of that site, and that page I linked is only the beginning.

#1. I can handle someone thinking my opinions on the NES game Athena are "foolish", but I'm especially happy that a picture of the game's boxart, a video of someone beating the first three levels, some unintelligible font, and a link to an article about ships being hijacked off Somalia explain exactly why they're foolish. Otherwise, I may have been in the dark for who knows how many years to come.

#2. Quote, "haha!! foolish mortal perceptions and opinions... ...but she's still a god". Okay. Who's still a god? Athena? Or me? Did I just get accused of being a west African pirate? And why would that make me a god? Well, I guess it would make sense... I mean, only a god would have the power to attack a ship halfway around the world from the confines of an Ohio apartment building.

#3. The rest of that site - Seriously, WTF?? No, really, what the hell?? It's gotta be one of those viral advertisement sites like those Levi's jeans ones from a few years back. That's the only thing that makes sense. Or doesn't...

Comments from the RAU Gallery:
Nucleo: Well, I don't know if that site makes any less sense than things do around here on a daily basis, but I digress.
Lizaki: Oh, I see you guys discovered the results of my last experiment...
Nucleo: Is that what that is? What kind of experiment were you administrating?
Lizaki: I hooked the spaghetti strainers up to a volunteer's head and they generated a website based on his deepest thoughts.
Nucleo: Lemme guess... Christopher Paladin?
Lizaki: No, mine. Though I was watching the movie Congo while playing the video game based on it at the same time, so maybe that had some minor influence on the results.

Christopher: Did someone say my name?
Lizaki: Yeah, wanna help contribute to science, young man?
Christopher: ...
Lizaki: ...
Christopher: ...
Lizaki: ...
Nucleo: ...
Christopher: ...
Lizaki: Geez, man, c'mon! Does it really take that long to decide? Yes or no?
Christopher: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were talking to me. I sometimes forget I'm a man. LOL.
Lizaki: Shit. Okay, here goes. Just put this on your head...
Nucleo: This should be interesting...
Lizaki: In a few moments the deepest, the most intricate thoughts of Christopher Paladin will be known to all!

Nucleo: ...What the... bloody hell is that?
Lizaki: Fuck if I know.
Robin: Allright, everyone! You know what time it is, right?
Lizaki: The moment everyone actually puts up with the rest of this piffle to see?
Robin: Yup. The little magic hat has drawn the name of a cool cat with a dry sense of humor that you may or may not get.
Christopher: You got Magic Dick from the J. Geils Band?!
Robin: Nope. Better than that. You know him from his cameo appearance in the Honen's Vacation sketch. Roll it, Gordon!

Vampyrus's Greatest Hits

(If you'd like to set this to music, click above.)

Nucleo: Hmm... Suddenly, I'm very hungry for a Boston Creme...
Christopher: Cat!!!
Lizaki: Admit it, kid. You just mentioned Magic Dick so there'd be yet another reference to the male body part in this series, didn't you?
Christopher: Another reference to what?
Lizaki: Ah, chickenshit. Never mind.




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