More Pointlessness
With Christopher Paladin

Grimmora School Den
Christopher: ...
Christopher: ...
Christopher: I'm trying to figure out how you do that.
Preston: ...Do what?
Christopher: Sleep on the couch.
Preston: You don't need to make a joke out of my sleeping habits three sketches in a row.
Christopher: But I wasn't in the last two.
Preston: Well, what's so hard to understand about it?
Christopher: Every time I try to sleep on the couch, this is what happens:


Son of a....!

Christopher: Well, how do you prevent that?
Preston: If you have a tendency to turn over in your sleep, then perhaps it's not recommended.
Christopher: Words of wisdom from the master!
Preston: C'mon, Mr. Paladin, it can't really be THAT fascinating to watch me sit on the couch and read.
Christopher: Yes it is.
Preston: Don't you have anything else to do?
Christopher: No.
Preston: *sigh*
Christopher: .... I like being an elf.
Preston: Well, that's good. You're kind of stuck with it, you know?
Christopher: Do you like being an elf?
Preston: I guess...although I sometimes think I'm a little silly-looking. The magic comes in handy, though.
Christopher: Have you ever been attacked by a Scientologist?
Preston: Um...nooo...
Christopher: Because you know, they hate psychiatrists.
Preston: Well, that's just too bad.
Christopher: If I became a Scientologist would we have to fight each other in a one-on-one battle to the very death?
Preston: ...
Christopher: Or do you think the moment before we kill each other, we'd get handcuffed together and after many hilarious hijinks and misadventures, we'd ultimately have to put our differences aside and work together to save the universe?
Preston: ...
Preston: *cough* Actually, I think what would happen is that we'd just end up going over a waterfall.
Christopher: I didn't say we were in a river.
Preston: We'd fall in one during the course of our altercation. Trust me. Everyone in an 80's cartoon eventually does.
Christopher: Oh, okay. ... Should I go jump in one right now?
Preston: Great Skiva, no!
Christopher: Okay, just making sure.
Christopher: Wanna go make some elfy waffles?
Preston: ... I am terrified to ask what that means...
Christopher: Oh, come on, you're a desert-elf. You've never made waffles?
Preston: I'm guessing that waffles are waffles no matter what the race of the person who makes them is.
Christopher: If a desert-elf makes them, they're elfy waffles.
Preston: If it weren't for the fact that I'm salaried, I'd turn on my clock.
Christopher: Yes or no.
Preston: It's 8:30 at night. I don't feel like making waffles.
Christopher: But I'm hungry.
Preston: Then why don't you go make them?
Christopher: Because if two elves make them together, they'll be super-elfy waffles!
Preston: Then you'll just have to settle for regular elfy waffles.
Christopher: Okay. I think I changed my mind anyway.
Preston: That's a relief.
Christopher: ... Aren't you scared to sleep down here at night?
Preston: No. Why would I be?
Christopher: If a Scientologist broke in here, you'd be safer if you stayed in your room and locked the door.
Preston: I'm not worried about that.
Christopher: Wow. You're brave.
Preston: No. I just figured that if I'm going to die, being fried by Tom Cruise's lightning bolts is as good a way to go as any.
Christopher: Do you seriously mean that?
Preston: Yes.
Christopher: Awesome!!! You're really hardcore!
Preston: Wouldn't guess it by looking at me, would you?
Christopher: Nope. Not in a million, billion, trillion years.
Preston: Allright, watch it, I'm not THAT geeky-looking...
Christopher: Yes you are.
Preston: No, I'm not.
Christopher: It's okay. I have a big head.
Preston: *sigh*
Christopher: I'm tired. I'm gonna go back to my room and go to sleep. Just watch out for those Scientologists.
Preston: Goodnight, Christopher.
???: *CLICK* *CREEEEAAAAAAK!* ... *clop* *clop* *clop* *clop* *CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP!* *CLOP!*
Tom Cruise: I am here to feast on your soul, Psychiatrist.
Preston: I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place, fella. I'm just an accountant. The psychiatrist retired years ago.
Tom Cruise: An accountant? But I heard you were...
Preston: Nope. Just an accountant. Here's my card. If you want, I can do your taxes for you, and I'll even give you my discount rate.
Tom Cruise: ...





*CLOP!* *CLOP! *CLOP* *CLOP* *clop* *clop* *CREEEEAAAAAAK!* SLAM!!!

Preston: *sigh* And to think he could've gotten a much larger return.




AddThis Social Bookmark Button Dreamhost