Archaeological Thingamobobical Part 1:
20 Seconds to Nowhere

Grimmora University Student Lounge
Cory: Hmmmm...*sigh*
Talon: Cor? What's wrong? You look kind of upset.
Cory: I'm worried about Amadeus...
Talon: Why? He's been on many expeditions before.
Cory: But not with Dr. Honen Calzoun.
Talon: Point?
Cory: I don't trust him.
Talon: Well, Cor, he acts funny sometimes, but I don't think he'll hurt anyone.
Cory: I don't like taking that for granted...
Talon: You guys took a chance when you allowed me to stay here. Honen deserves the same treatment.
Cory: That's different, Talon. Your father was evil, but you never were. Honen actually was a bitter, contemptuous villain who seethed with hatred and fought with just about everyone he ever crossed paths with. Being out there all alone with Mom and Dad would be the perfect opportunity for Honen to get rid of his self-described "worst enemies".
Talon: I think you're worrying too much.
Cory: I'm gonna call Amadeus and check up on things.
Talon: Yeah, you might as well. You'll feel better and he'll probably be happy to hear from you anyway.

Oskillian Mountain Caves, About 2 Hours Ago
Nucleo: Well, team, we've been digging for several days now and I think we're close to unearthing something. Honen?
Honen: Yes, Professor?
Nucleo: Can you check on our equipment and take another reading with the magnometer? I'd also like to get our cameras ready.
Honen: Of course, Professor. Just leave everyting to me.
Nucleo: ... Are you allright, Honen? I'm not used to seeing you so...smiley.
Honen: I apologize, Professor, but I am just fine. I am feeling rather exuberant today. I am, how you say...honored dat you trust in me enough to take me on zis mission. I have never said zis before, but I have always admired your work. Even when we were enemies, I always respected your intellect and your dedication to your field of study.
Nucleo: Oh...thanks, Honen. I've always respected your skills with machines, too. That's something I find fascinating, but I've never had the inclination for it.
Honen: Heh. Merci beaucoup, Professor. Iz great honor to hear you say dat.
Image: Well, don't get too cocky, Calzoun. Just because Nucleo trusts you, that doesn't mean I do.
Honen: Hmph. You don't have to trust me, you little fireball. Makes no difference to me.
Nucleo: Im, c'mon. Honen's doing a fine job here, he deserves our respect.
Honen: And I think I also deserve for you to quit aiming your bow and arrow at me all ze time, too.
Image:
Nucleo: *sigh*
Honen: Bah. I just ignore you, fireball. I go work on ze equipment now.
Image: Hmph. He'll probably sabotage it.
Honen: How ze hell do you sabotage a metal detector or a camera, you moodozvon?
Nucleo: Im, this is a team mission. We need to get along here. Preferably like adults.

Honen, that reading?

Honen: Seems like there iz someting metal very close to ze...

*CLANK!*
Honen: ...surface...
Nucleo: I think I've hit pay dirt.
Image: What is it, Nuclee? Dust it off!
Nucleo: Great Inverse Multiplexers! I think this is what we've been looking for!

Yes, it is! It's...

Isn't it magnificent?

Image:
Honen:
Nucleo: What? Is something wrong?
Image: *cough* Well, um...gee, Nuclee, what can I say? It's...
Honen: An old hard drive. You brought us all ze way out here to dig up an old hard drive?
Nucleo: Of course! This box contains a timecapsule of archaeological wonders the likes of which haven't been seen since...
Image: 1995?
Honen: Dat's about as significant as finding rusty old boot.
Nucleo: Oh c'mon. What is with the cynicism all of a sudden?
Image: Nuclee, maybe we should just pack up and go home. It's been a rough trip in this summer heat...
Nucleo: Nonsense! This is what the Overlord sent us here to find.
Honen: Why? She have sudden hankering to use Windows '95 again?
Nucleo: Do you think you can extract the data between your fits of laughter, Dr. Calzoun?
Honen: Sure, sure. Give it here. Hmm...interesting.
Nucleo: What is it, Honen?
Image: Be careful with that thing!
Honen: I am being careful, fireball! You think I want to blow myself up or someting?

But zis hard drive iz odd...not like any I've ever seen before...

Ze data iz spewing iz undecipherable...Bah, must be corrupted disk.

Image: So we came out here for nothing, then?
Honen: Don't despair too easily, fireball. Data may yet be recoverable, but I'll need to take zis disk back to ze lab at Grimmora. Portable equipment won't cut it for zis job.
Nucleo: Okay then, Honen, power down and we'll start packing up.
Honen: Um, wait. I can't power it down.
Nucleo: What?
Honen: I can't disconnect it from ze terminal. Someting iz very, very wrong...um... Sacrebleu!
Image: Ack! It's creating some kind of vortex!
Nucleo: Cripes!! Honen, forget the data! Destroy it before we get sucked in!
Honen: Iz too late, Professor. I cannot seem to stop it!
Image: Stupid Oni! I knew we shouldn't have trusted you!
Honen: Oh, shut up! As if I want to get sucked into obselete hardware for all eternity! GAHHH!!
Nucleo: One chance...Honen, cut the wires!
Honen: They are firmly stuck!!
Nucleo: I said cut them, not pull them out! With your teeth, for Skiva's sake!
Honen: Yes, yes, of course, Professor! Must never forget most basic primal solutions to seemingly-insurmountable problems, no matter how civilized and sophisticated we, as sentient beings, have become...
Image: JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO IT!!!
Honen: GRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH!

*CHOMP*!

*BUZZ ZZEEEZZ ZZZEEET!!*
Metal Gear: PLEASE PUT DOWN THE WIRES!! YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY!!
Image: What the hell is that?! It just materialized out of the monitor...
Honen: Overlord's idea of security system. Just keep it distracted while I cut remaining wires...
Nucleo: Honen, I think you better do as it says!
Metal Gear: GrRrOwWwLLL!! YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY!!
Honen: Nonsense, Professor, I not be beaten by antiquated technology! GRUFF! *CHOMP!*
Metal Gear: YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY!!
Nucleo: Honen! Antiquated or not, if that thing's armed, its bullets are just as capable of...
Honen: I...only...have...one...more wire...
Metal Gear: YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO COMPLY!! FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE... I AM NOW AUTHORIZED TO USE PHYSICAL FORCE!!

*PHOOOOOOMM - KA-BLAM!!!*
Honen: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Nucleo: HONEN!!!!
Image: NUCLEO!! THE VORTEX!! WE'RE GETTING PULLED IN!!! EEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!
Nucleo: Uh....Dammit...Honen, I'm sorry.


Grimmora School
Back to Present Time
Cory: Amadeus? Hello? Dad? Pick up! ...
Talon: Still no answer?
Cory: No. Nothing but static.
Talon: Maybe he's too far away? Or there's some interference from something? Magnetic fields, perhaps...
Cory: I don't like it, Tal. C'mon. I'm gonna get Bubu and go after them.
Talon: Whoah, wait a minute, Cor! We're too young to drive.
Cory: Bubu can drive himself.
Talon: Yeah, I guess that's true, but... I'm coming with you, okay?

The Garage
Cory: Hey, Bubu! Can you help us out with something...um...?
Bubu: ...
Deuce: Hey, Cor, hey Tal. What's goin' on?
Cory: Um...Deuce! Didn't expect you to be here, um...
Deuce: Yeah, I was just giving Bubu an oil change. So, what do you want with him?
Talon: We were just going to...
Cory: TALON!!!!
Talon: What??
Deuce: Just going to what?
Cory: Talon, five please.
Deuce: ???
Talon: Cory, what's the problem? We shouldn't lie to her and besides, we could use her help.
Cory: She's in love with Dr. Calzoun. She won't understand my concern.
Talon: Then try not to mention him. Just explain that we lost contact with your parents and you're worried about them. Don't you think it would help to have someone along who is stronger, older, and more experienced than we are? (Not to mention, someone who can actually drive.)
Cory: *sigh* Okay, but let me do the talking.
Deuce: ... Allright, kids, I don't know what's going on and I don't like making accusations, but you are acting kind of suspicious...
Cory: Lt. Koma, we've lost contact with my father's archaeological team. I've tried calling several times and all I get is static. Talon and I thought we'd drive out to the excavation site and look around. Maybe it's just that they're too far away or there's some kind of radio interference, or maybe their equipment is damaged and it's no big deal, but I'd feel better if I knew for sure.
Deuce: Well, that's understandable, no need to be acting so clandestine about that. But let me just try calling Honen first.

*CLICK!*

Cory: ...
Deuce: Hmm...you're right...Strange that it doesn't even seem to be ringing. I wouldn't be surprised if there are magnetic fields from all the ore in those mountain caves interfering with the transmissions, but I suppose it won't hurt to check on things. Get in the car, I'll drive you there.
Bubu: Weeeeee!!! I can drive myself!!
Deuce: Eh, not today, Bubu. When I'm in a vehicle, I want to be in complete control of it.
Bubu: Phooey! Control freak.
Cory: Thanks, Deuce.
Talon: Yeah, thanks. I feel better now that you're coming with us.
Deuce: Right. Buckle up! Next stop, the Oskillian Mountain Caves!

To be continued

GO FORWARD TO ARCHAEOLOGICAL THINGAMOBOBICAL PART 2: THE EDGE OF YESTERDAY

GO BACK TO THE AFTERMATH OF ARIZONA JACK

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