A Visit With the Overlord

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FO: Okay, so you need me to get you a new picture, is that right?
Preston: Yes. That's correct. Something that looks closer to my real age, but not those old drawings with the coke-bottle glasses, please.
FO: Unfortunately, you weren't in a lot of episodes that were actually drawn since I never storyboarded any of the scripts that dealt with Nucleo's past. But I do have this recent drawing. Should I fix that one up?
Preston: I look a little too serious in that one. Is it possible to...I dunno...make me seem a little more cheerful?
FO: It would be easier if I drew a whole new picture, but I don't have any ETA for when I could do that. I'll be very busy this weekend.
Preston: I see. I suppose I can wait a little while longer. Thank you so much! I need to get back to figuring out how much the repairs of the west wing will cost and how we'll pay for it...
FO: You didn't have insurance?
Preston: We do, but unfortunately it doesn't cover damages incurred by "insane robot bunny".
FO: Ouch. Well, good luck to you!

...Okay, who's next?

Deuce: I am. I want to know why I haven't been in any sketches yet.
FO: Because every time I try to put you into one, you demand that I take you out of it.
Deuce: That's only because you keep putting me in the ones with Nucleo McRaven.
FO: You need to get over that, Deuce.
Deuce: Don't you think I've tried? But he's intelligent, attractive, just about the kindest man I've ever met, AND he's my height! Do you realize how hard it is to find all of that in one package?
FO: Why don't you try working things out with Tomi? One out of four ain't bad.
Deuce: Since you're the overlord and all, can't you just make Tomi be a little more like 'Cleo? Then maybe I could stomach him.
FO: No. They're already both short guys with dark hair who like to sleep and eat a lot. I'm sorry, but this problem is between you and Tomi and Prof. McRaven (who I hope doesn't end up reading this because we don't need to feed his narcissism any more than it already has been.) You'll need to resolve this one on your own.
Deuce: Damn. Well, thought it was worth a try. Can I be in the next sketch that doesn't have Nucleo in it?
FO: We'll see.
Deuce: I hate you.
FO: You're welcome.

Okay, next?

Raymond: Excuse me, yes? Why am I so far away in my picture? I'm the only one without a closeup. >=(
FO: It fits your personality better.
Raymond: Oh, okay.
FO: Is that all?
Raymond: No, there's something else. I'm afraid of Talon. =(
FO: Why would you be afraid of Talon?
Raymond: He's the son of Bazil Kyradius. =(
FO: So? You do realize that To Kill a Mockingbird was my favorite book around the time I created Nucleo and Talon, right? 'Cleo was sort of based on Atticus Finch and Talon was sort of based on Boo Radley. In other words, you don't have to worry about him.
Raymond: But he killed his own father! =(
FO: *sigh* And how many times has Alucard done that?
Raymond: I'm scared of him, too.
FO: Why would you be scared of Alucard???
Raymond: He's a vampire. He'll drink my blood. =(
FO: I somehow don't think he will.
Raymond: He also turns into a bat. Bats are scary.
FO: I have no idea what to tell you. Talon won't hurt anyone. He only killed Bazil in self-defense and even you must be aware of what an abusive, insane monster that guy was. Talon gave him every chance he possibly could but he ultimately had to protect himself and Cory. Is that good enough for you?
Raymond: I guess so...but I'm still scared of some things...like Travis from Killer7.
FO: Well, that's understandable.

Okay, who's next?

Image: Hi!
FO: Okay, yes, what's your problem today?
Image: Do you think I'm cute?
FO: Why does it matter?
Image: Do you think my Nuclee will always love me?
FO: I'm pretty sure he will.
Image: Forever and ever until the end of time?
FO: What do I look like? A magic 8-ball?
Image: I just want to be with my Nuclee forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever!
FO: ...
Image: Do you love Nuclee, too?
FO: Why do I get the feeling that if I didn't make any replies at all, I'd get the exact same results?
Image: Thank you! I'm gonna go find my Nuclee and love him!
FO: I rest my case.

Next?

Zumo: Can you loan me 50 bucks?
FO: No. Next?
Zumo: Oh come on, please! Just this once. I promise I'll pay you back with interest.
FO: If you want money from me, you have to work for it. Go take out the garbage and wash the dirt off the Malibu.
Zumo: Drat...well, okay, that doesn't sound too hard. BRB.
FO: Next?
Cory: Could I have a different picture, too? My eyes are sort of badly-drawn and my mouth is wide open in a weird way, and well...I just look kind of freaky.
FO: Okay, but I'll need to draw a new one and Preston asked first, so you're behind him in line.
Cory: That's okay. No hurry.
FO: Next?
Zumo: Uh, which one is the Malibu again?
FO: It's the red car parked next to the blue Corsica. They're on the opposite site of the parking lot.
Zumo: Oh...There's a sandy brown car next to the blue Corsica.
FO: That's it. It's red underneath the sand.
Zumo: Eww...dammit. Okay, I'll get to work...Can you give me a bucket of water?
FO: Go get it from the kitchen. Next?
Image: Are you suuuuure me and Nuclee will always be together?
FO: Yes. Lucky him.
Image: Because I really, really love my Nuclee...
FO: Those years in the tower were pretty hard on you, weren't they?
Image: Well????
FO: Yes. Just try not to get separated the next time you go exploring ancient and mysterious ruins, okay?
Image: Thank you!!!
FO: Next?
Honen: Can you get me picture dat does not make me look like raging maniacal psycho?
FO: You are a raging maniacal psycho.
Honen: Oh...I guess it iz...appropriate then?
FO: Yes.
Honen: *shrugs* Okay. I go take dat wretched worm off your hands now.
FO: Next?
Nucleo: Hi, sorry to bother you, but have you seen my wife? I need her help in decoding some ancient hieroglyphics I found on this tablet.
FO: She rolled thattaway
Nucleo: Thank you kindly for your assistance.
FO: Next?
Talon: Hello. I really, really hate to bother you, but...
FO: What is it, kiddo? You don't have to act like the Cowardly Lion.
Talon: Sorry, it's just that, well...Raymond's acting weird. Weird even for him, anyway. He keeps taking garlic from the commissary and he must be allergic to it because it makes him sneeze. And when he sneezes, rice and poppy seeds go flying everywhere. I don't know how to explain it...but then if that isn't strange enough, he expects me to sit there and count the rice and seeds.
FO: What? He actually asks you to count the seeds?
Talon: No, not exactly. It's weird. He turns to whoever is with him and says something like, "Watch. I heard that Chinese vampires will stop and count the seeds", and then he just stares at me with a suspicious eye. I'm not even Chinese...
FO: *sigh* There are some people in this world who should not read Wikipedia. Have you spoken to Chance about it?
Talon: Not yet. I couldn't find him earlier, but I'll go looking for him now. Thanks for listening.
FO: Anyone else?
Zumo: Where's my 50 bucks?
FO: Okay, here, but you'd better not gamble it away.
Zumo: Perish the thought.
Honen: C'mon you, let's go.
FO: Honen!!
Honen: What, what??
FO: Get out of the Corsica.
Honen: Why? I thought yours was ze Malibu.
FO: They're both mine. Now, get out of it.
Honen: Grr...fine. I'm sorry. *bows* Zumo and I leave you be now.
FO: Okay, who's next? Last chance. Going once. Going twice...
Nucleo: Uh, don't mind us. We came this way, so we have to go back the other way...uh, yeah. Heh heh.
Image: Thanks to you, I found my Nuclee! Thank you so much!
FO: Don't mention it.
Nucleo: Well, can you help me translate this tablet, darling?
Image: It says, "I love Nuclee"!
Nucleo: It does not.
Image: Yes it does!
Nucleo: No, it does not!
Image: Yes it does! Yes it does!
Nucleo: C'mon, Im, I really need your help here.
Image: No, it does. It really does! It's written in an ancient Demon-Elf language and I'm the one who wrote it. See?
Nucleo: Oh...you are being serious...Well, I guess it makes sense since I found it in your room.
Image: Let's go home now, Nuclee.
Nucleo: Okay. See you later, FO.
FO: Well, that's it for today. I'm closing my doors now.
Chance: *yawn* Oh, wait. What's going on?
FO: Chance? What are you doing back there?
Chance: I was in line for something, but I fell asleep. I've been so tired lately.
FO: Talon was looking for you.
Chance: Oh. What did he want?
FO: Raymond was throwing rice at him or something like that.
Chance: What?? Okay, I'll go put a stop to that immed...
Chance: What the hell was that?
FO: Raymond's rice, I guess.
Chance: That doesn't make a whole helluva lotta sense.
FO: My guess is that he was using rice to try to reveal supernatural beings, such as vampires, but it turned out the rice was supernatural. That's the way the ironic humor in these sketches usually works.
Chance: I suppose you're right. They also usually end with someone wanting to go get something to eat.
FO: Would you like some rice cakes?
Chance: Sure. Why not?

Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more.

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