Deliberate Insanity

Chance: Okay, as you are all aware, it's been several days since we've heard back from Deuce and Tomi, and there's still no sign of the stolen moonbuggy yet. We're going to need to conduct a search by air. However, the Bluejay is still down and without Deuce, Tomi, and Honen, I have fewer people to work on the repairs. I'll need some volunteers.
Chester: Dude! Count me in.
Robin: Chet, we're already part of the repair team.
Chester: Oh, yeah, forgot. Well, just consider it a confirmation.
Chance: That's only two. Anyone else?
Sesa: Chance, I can help.
Chance: Are you sure you're feeling up to it, Sesa?
Sesa: Yeah, I'm good. I'll have to go get my calculator, though. BRB!
Chance: Allright, who else?
Lukyan: Where's your little mountaindevil friend? Why doesn't he help?
Chance: Talon's been helping me with the repairs, but I feel I've been working him too hard lately, so I gave him the week off. This is why I'm asking for volunteers. Without him, I'm losing three hands.
Lukyan: Three?
Chance: Yeah. Talon can balance himself perfectly on one foot and hold something in the other.
Lukyan: Freak-ay.
Chance: C'mon, I'm down four people and only got one replacement so far. Any takers? How about you, Zumo?
Zumo: *grumble* *grumble* I can't believe that jerk went on a vacation without me. Wherever he goes, I hope it rains. *grumble*
Chance: I didn't quite catch that, Zumo. Come again?
Lukyan: What do you want him for? Is it really that useful to have someone laugh at you every time you bang your thumb or get sprayed with oil?
Chance: Are you gonna help or not, Lukyan?
Lukyan: No.
Chance: Thanks. I appreciate your honesty.
Taura: I'd like to help since Sesa, Robin, and Chester are helping, but I'm just a nurse. I've never been good with mechanical repairs. Maybe I could do some simple things if you show me how.
Chance: Yeah, that's allright, Taura. You can come aboard. We'll find something you can do.
Taura: What about Samantha? Isn't she good with this sort of thing?
Chance: She is, but Lizaki needs her assistance in the lab right now. Image and Nucleo are away on a trip. Maybe they can help when they get back...but until then, I guess that's everyone except...
Christopher: Hey, guys and girls, what's going on?
Chance: You know, Christopher, sometimes I think the phrase "better late than never" was coined just for you.
Christopher: Well, I'm sorry, but I was busy practicing my new face technique.
Chance: I know I'm setting myself up by asking this, but what the hell is a "face technique"?
Christopher: Watch and be amazed!

Chester: Dude! Awesome! Show me how to do that sometime.
Chance: Now I'm really glad I gave Talon the week off. That's practically giving me seizures, I can't imagine what it would do to him.
Lukyan: Oh come on, that's nothing. Check this out.

Chester: Dude! That's cool, but I'll bet I can top it.
Robin: What? Don't even think about it, Chet.
Chester: No sweat, Robin, just watch...

Ummm....grrghh...

There! Well? How was that?

Robin: ...
Chester: Well?
Robin: Your nose...it's a little...too far to the left.
Chester: Oh, really? Dude! Hold on...

There! Redrew myself. Is that better?

Robin: ...
Chester: Well, is it?
Robin: I think I'm beginning to see why you aren't bothered by my demon form.
Chester: Why would I be?
Robin: *sigh* Nevermind.
Chance: Are you guys done?
Zumo: *mutter* He could have at least told me he was going. The next time I win some gambling dough, he ain't seein' one penny of it. Not one penny. It'd be great if he comes down with another rare life-threatening illness. That'd really teach him...*mutter*
Chance: ZUMO!!
Zumo: Huh? What?
Chance: Have you been paying attention at all, Zumo?
Zumo: To what?
Chance: Are you going to help with the Bluejay repairs?
Zumo: Why are you asking me? Don't you have a mountaindevil slave?
Chance: First of all, Talon is not a slave. I'm his legal guardian, not his master. Secondly, we've already been through that. I gave him the week off.
Zumo: Oh. Well, sorry, as much as I'd like to (not), I just ain't in the mood right now. If you'll excuse me...
Chester: Dudes! Hey! Lookee here!

Christopher: Oh yeah? TELEPORT!!

Lukyan: Hmph. Bet you can't do this.

Chance: For Drago's sake, knock it off, all of you!!
Robin: Well that settles it. I'm no longer the weird one in this group.
Taura: I don't know what makes you think you ever were.
Christopher: C'mon, Chance, why don't you try doing one?
Chance: No thanks, I'll pass.
Lukyan: Maybe he's just jealous because he can't do one.
Chance: If you think that age-old ruse is going to work...
Christopher: If you try one, I'll help with the repairs. And I may even be able to coax Dr. Lizaki into letting us borrow Samantha for awhile, too.
Chance: Are you out of your mind? I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I actually miss Honen.
Lukyan: Maybe he's just too afraid to do one.
Chance: Okay, okay. Look, I'll do one. But only if both of you agree to help with the repairs when I'm done. Do we have a deal?
Christopher: Yep! Go for it!
Lukyan: Allright, but it better be good.
Chance: Don't say I didn't warn you...

Here goes...

So how was that?

Lukyan: '_'

That's pretty good.

Chester: Dude!!!
Christopher: Eh, uh...wooo...think I'm gonna be sick...
Robin: ...

Congratulations. This is now officially the most screwed-up RAU Sketch ever.

Chester: Hey, Robin, check it out!


Woo-hoo-hoo-hoooo!! Dude!

Robin: ...

I am so glad I didn't eat before watching that.

Lukyan: Okay, who can tell me what this is an impersonation of?

Christopher: Super NES screen fadeout!
Lukyan: Bingo.
Chance: Okay, that's enough. I fulfilled my end of the bargain.
Robin: At the cost of this sketch's sanity.
Chance: Gimme a break here, Robin, I'm shorthanded.
Christopher: But you know what happens when the sanity level drops too low, right?
Robin: No, what?
Christopher: You start hallucinating, and all kinds of weird things happen....
Chester: Dude! Like this?
Lukyan: Whoah. Can't seem to turn this thing off...
Chance: Stop goofing around.
Taura: Ummm...Chance, I don't think they are...
Chance: There's nothing weird happening. They're doing it on purpose.
Taura: Then how do you explain the fact that you appear to be turning to...
Chance: Ack!
Taura: ...stone.
Robin: Allright, remember. This isn't really happening. We're just hallucinating it.
Chester: Dude! All of us?
Robin: Yes. It's a group hallucination. That explains it.
Chance: Hrmmph! Rmmpmph! Mooommmph!
Taura: What was that, Chance?
???: He said we have to remain calm and keep telling ourselves it isn't real so that it'll wear off.
Robin: Ooooo-kaayyyyy. But #1, who are you, and #2, how can you tell that's what he said?
???: Don't you recognize my voice? It's me, Sesa. But I appear to have turned into a kittyloaf. I can tell that's what he said because that's what Chance always sounds like before he's had his morning coffee.
Chance: *sigh*
Taura: Sesa? Is that really you? What am I supposed to do now?
Sesa: Hmmmm...A calculator could be really useful right now, but unfortunately, I don't have any limbs at the moment. I certainly hope this situation can be rectified. I suppose this is what it must be like to be Kiini, and while the experience does have some character-building qualities, I wouldn't want to stay this way forever. I'm not really cut out to be a centerpiece. Chance, on the other hand, would make an excellent lawn fountain.
Chance: Grrrrrrrr!
Lukyan: I've got it! I'll cast a spell to increase the sanity level:

Xel'lotath, Narokath, Pargon, Pargon, Santak!!

Chance: *POP!*

*GASP!*

ALLRIGHT!! That does it!! You're all dismissed! I'll just wait until Honen, Deuce, and Tomi come back. I can't take this anymore.

Christopher: But I thought we were going to repair the Bluejay so that we could go looking for Deuce and Tomi.
Chance: Forget it. Let them handle the situation on their own. It's their stupid moonbuggy anyway, not mine. Now, just get out of here and leave me alone for awhile.
Sesa: Well, I never did find my Spectra Hello Kitty Pocket Folding Calculator. Must've left it in the infirmary. See you later, Chance.
Robin: Allright, Chance, we'll go now. Coming, Chet?
Chester: Of course, my lady love!
Robin: Chet, why didn't you go back to normal?
Chester: Oh...you don't find it...sexy?
Robin: It's about as sexy as getting sick on a rollercoaster ride.
Chester: Dude! You, too? Now I definitely know you're my kind of woman!
Robin: Nevermind.

LATER THAT EVENING
SCHOOL JUICE BAR

Chance: *sigh* I'm surrounded by idiots...

...One thing still bothers me...Where did Lukyan learn that sanity spell? Hmmm... Oh well...

Hey, Zumo! Is this seat taken?

Zumo: No, but I've gotta warn you. This guy over here has been talking my noise receptors off all night long.
Chance: Who has?
Ulyaoth: The universe is a yawning chasm, filled with emptiness, and the purile meandering of sentience.
Zumo: Oh boy, there he goes again. *slump*
Chance: ...Well...why not?

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